So I was thinking ...

My sister Felicity and I were driving to my house today and I had to slow down quickly so as not to hit a pedestrian crossing the street. Felicity exclaimed that I would have gotten ten points if I had hit him (all in jest, of course). I facetiously replied that I would have gotten negative points because he was Asian, and therefore probably smarter than us and a great loss to humankind. From that point on, we made up a list of people who would be guaranteed points if you hit them, as well as a list of those who you should never hit. Disclaimer- we do not think you should ever run over people with cars.

If you hit the following with your car, you will get 10 points:

1. People who smoke in public- Hey buddy, I don’t wanna die by second-hand smoke! Take that!
2. People who are texting, talking on the phone, or listening to an iPod with both ears in and don’t even look up when they cross the road – in most countries, that would be called “Stupid”
3. People who wear their pants either so that their underwear is showing or that only go up to their knees- this would seem like a genetic mutation in our fashion genes and we should do our best to rid our generation of such a plague
4. Small, yappy dogs- this qualifies as double points, because you must only run over the irritating dog, not the owner
5. Attitude-y teenagers

People you should not hit with your car:

1. Nuns
2. Pregnant ladies, or women with babies
3. Couples that are still holding hands after 10 years of marriage
4. Nice old people (notice the qualifier- NICE. If they are mean, it’s open season)
5. People who walk their cats on leashes- if you can pull that off, you deserve to live
6. Asians- on the off chance that the racial stereotype is true and they are, in fact, smarter than the rest of us

Peavine Princesses

The beautiful young women of Peavine Mountain Ward.

Girls' Camp 2011

Dedicated to the girls of the Peavine Mountain ward. :D

Wherefore art thou pizza?

I asked my students today to write about something that people don't appreciate or care for as much as they should. Most students listed things like the environment or their health.

One student seemed to ponder this question for quite a while, his face screwed up in heavy concentration. Excited by such effort, I eagerly grabbed his folder after class to see what he wrote.

"I think people should care about pizza. Pizza does so much for you and people don't care. If cars ran on pizza they would run better."

He got a ten out of ten.

************************************************************************

One of my more interesting students (the one that flashed the entire class a few months ago) called out to me in the middle of our period and said, "Hey Ms. Warren, look over here!"

I looked over to his table and screamed in panic, because his hand was on fire. I was super confused because he seemed to be enjoying his spontaneous combustion (it usually ruins my day)

Turns out, he was spraying his hand with opious amounts of cologne, then setting it ablaze with his lighter.

While the pryomaniac in me was super impressed and a little tempted to try it myself, I found myself pulling a responsible adult by taking his lighter away and trying to convince him that setting our classroom on fire would be a bad thing in the long run.

Good times, good times.

Tired, tired and then ... HUZZAH!

Right now, everyone I know is tired. Tired of school. Tired of winter. Tired of the same ol'-ness of everyday life. Tired, tired, tired.

Getting my students motivated to learn when I am so pooped is a bit of a predicament. I was awfully tempted to propose nap time to my 5th period class today and they probably would have been all over it. (I resisted- I hear they frown on "nap time" in the 9th grade)

Thankfully, Someone upstairs loves me and has sent little golden nuggets of enthusiasm to keep me going.

Here are some of my favorites:

"Duty" and Public Indecency

One of my least favorite aspects of my job is "Duty." Just the name inspires spontaneous combustion via boredom. I was just noting that to my fellow "duty" sufferer when a student ran down the hall wearing a penguin outfit, closely followed by two students wearing nothing but neon blue spandex undies and rollerblades. I spent the next five minutes busting up as I watched them evading the police officers on campus. If something like that happened everyday, duty would cease to be so dull and we would also have to rename it to something with more pizzazz, like "cackle to yourself for 30 minutes" or "public indecency 101."

News stories and "Holy cow, he actually did something!"

I ask my students to write a paragraph every day and sometimes the topics are less than inspiring. Today, however, I was amazed at how engaged they were by the topic. I had them watch a Reuters video online about the tsunami situation in Japan. The students asked question after question about the impact of this event. They pondered together about how to help show the people in Japan their support. And one of my students, who is failing for never having completed an assignment, wrote me an extensive response to this video. This experience warmed the cockles of my heart.

Dumbfounded

In my fifth period class the other day, my students started to have a heated argument about how boring my class is compared to other freshman classes ... in front of me. I pointed out to them that this might not be the smartest idea, considering brownie points and that quarter grades due next week. They seemed dumbfounded, like this had never even occurred to them before. My unexpected happy moment came when one of my students defended my class as his absolute favorite. It was unexpected because I am pretty sure he doesn't care for me (considering that he told me , "I hate you and I wanna key your car" only last week). So, my class isn't the most boring for at least one student .... HUZZAH!!!

One of the joys of teaching English is the occasional opportunity to strut your stuff and show your kids just how amazing a writer you actually are.


For our writing prompt for Valentine's Day, I gave a mini lesson on the arts and subtleties of how to write a love letter.


As I am not currently in a relationship, I modeled with the following:

O' how I love thee,

Let me count the ways.

You liven up my salads,

And you brighten up my days.

I love you when you're Cheddar,

I love you when you're Swiss,

And when too poor to find you,

Your savor I do miss.

Please never leave my side

As long as I do live.

Forever and for always

All my love to you I'll give."

I think they finally appreciate just how cool I am now.

14 months and 8 pencils later....

As the stress in my life has increased exponentially in the last few months, I have retreated to one of my greatest sources of solace: drawing. While I love drawing all sorts of people, there is a special joy that comes in drawing scenes from the Savior's life.
It may sound silly, but I have an affection for my drawings a little bit like unto a parent's love for a child. I created them and watched them grow under my watchful care. As each of the following are gifts for other people, I will see them go with a mixture of emotions. There will be the sorrow of parting, but also that joy in knowing that something you made will, hopefully, bring something special to other people's lives.


*The Shepherd. I love this drawing, because of the joy you see in the shepherd's face as he tends his flock. This drawing is for my New Testament institute teacher, as thanks for re-engaging my mind and heart in the scriptures.

*The classic Savior as the shepherd. This will go to my friend for her wedding, as a reminder that in marriage, as in all else, the Savior will guide us through the trials that beset us.

*This is my absolute favorite drawing I have ever done, in part because it is the one that took me the longest. The drawing is quite large, standing at 3 1/2 by 3 feet, which I thought was fitting to depict such a lovely scene in the scriptures. It took my 14 months to complete.

The picture shows us a father desperate to heal his son. He asks the Savior to heal the boy and is given a profound reply. All things are possible to him that believeth, the Savior tells him. When the man declares that he believes, the Savior admonishes him with a glance. The father then begs, "help thou my unbelief." In the end, the boy's health is restored. Sometimes I feel down on myself for my lack of faith, skill, boldness, etc. Instead of resigning ourselves to failure, we all have the option of asking the Lord to help us find what we lack.

*note: None of these are original drawings. They are all my own artistic representation of another artist's work and I do not hold any of the credit for myself, neither am I advertising them for sale.